Carpe diem - Life (fragmentary approach)

Ten days in heaven or...
...a lifetime in all the vividness of gray

Try to remember which adjectives would too frequently describe your job, curtains in your living room, life, holidays, relationship(s), your home, food you eat, Gods you worship, politicians you despise...

a) boring, stupid...

b) irritating, frustrating...

c) dull, dreary...

d) cheap, empty...

What adjectives you would want to remember when your days are drawing to an end (as they usually do towards the evening)? Sparkling, brilliant, fantastic, heavenly...

As most of the crucial things in our lives (including black olives in extra virgin olive oil) also this subject we can approach from different perspectives.

Defeatist.

Whatever I do or even try to do is doomed to failure. Cosmos is pushing me down and there is no way to prevail... I will just suffer and wail...

Sissy.

If I just try to enjoy a little they will all jump on me as a Wall Street cannibal on a rich newborn baby. They will put me in even greater misery... Better to step back and avoid all the pleasures...

Fighter.

I will beat all the odds. I will get rich and happy whatever it takes. Even if it takes all my life, my health, my free time... And live eternally happy some time in the future. In the afterlife?

I don't give a shit.

As long as I can see stardust in a dust on my table (before Kadek dusts it, of course), as long as I can just embrace whatever is gliding on my path and I love, as long as I can ignore shit floating in the same stream, I'm OK.

Monster called time (for ever, only, too short, already, too long, never, not yet...) is usually just fucking things up. Defense: occasionally I show the ugly monster my tongue in all its glory.

Xmas, New Year, Klungkung

All the fish of one sweet rainbow...

For those who still haven't got it.

It's holidays time!!!!

No lectures. No tests. No preaching.

Time for wishes and important decisions.

Some ideas:

...work less, sin more, enjoy fully, breathe in life, exhale what you don't need...

you get my drift? :)

Doomsday

Doomsday - photo documentation

The end of the world... documented. With time stamp. With Nothingness at all its glory.

That's it disciples of mine.

I warned you some time ago. Our days are numbered.

When disappearing mango pie and apocalyptic big red ant cross their 62^nd hyper dimensional paths on an illusional ceramic plate (which happens every 1.657.362 years and few minutes) everything will disappear.

Not just you and the Earth. Not just our galaxy. Not just our Universe.

All these I could still cope with.

But just to think even all the enormity and glory of human stupidity gone forever...

Oh, me, myself, oh, I, great master of keyboards and undisclosed bank accounts, can I prevent the Final Tragedy?!

There is a tiny speck of light in the darkness of your despair.

Maybe, just maybe, I will save Everything again.

Do not despair! I'm still here to help you...

What you should do now?

a) reroute all the negative energy accumulated in your bank accounts to my account

b) promise immediately you will worship me forever with your credit cards

c) you will send me Thank you notes (US$, €...) every day

d) you will polish my new Aston Martin every day

My followers, I know, Prozac you can not get any more even on a black market, internet is fried from calls for help, pizza delivery is late and you are freaking out (well, at least this is normal)...

Only solid rock in this turbid times you find with me.

Trust me.

Rely on me.

Believe me.

I know exactly what is the best for you, my fantastically enlightened followers.

How real is this danger you can see from photo of Everything taken tomorrow (22^nd of December, at 12.13), exactly one minute after The End.

The best scientists from major universities tried to find traces of Andromeda, your boss' favorite coffee mug, pyramids at Giza, your missed opportunities - nothing. Nothing!!!

Just say Thank you, oh, Master! in somewhat larger amounts and tomorrow morning I'll save you and and you and you...

Uh, just to do all the i's and cross all the t's.

In a very unlikely event, if I would mess up something tomorrow, guys, it's been a pleasure.

It's been an honor.

Mango, mango pie, mango jam & you

Now take your silk panties and clean the screen! Don't lick the screen!

Here you can smell, taste and even see a properly prepared and properly served mango pie.

State the most important reasons why you should not eat this mango pie:

a) whatever is too good for you is anyhow illegal or at least immoral

b) it is against certain religious principles

c) this one is served only in Bali and you prefer to stay in dark, damp, cold climate

d) this greedy diver can go ballistic, if you would only think about it

Yes, several very good reasons not to go after mango pie. No worries. I will finish it all. Slowly. Savoring every bite.

However, as you are my best friends, I will allow you to make some apple pie, blueberry cake and similar godly pastries for me during my holidays in cold parts of the globe.

We did try to create a replica of this mango pie one winter in European mountains. Due to creativity of the chef it's been flavored even with dark chocolate, she added a touch of genuine mango jam to fresh mango slices and it's survival time was much shorter than creation time. This said I don't have to explain how delicious it's been.

Fusion cuisine definitely has it's merits.

Mediterranean cuisine can be gently infused into Balinese cuisine and vice versa.

Or ultra delicious Slovenian dumplings stuffed with ripe plums, topped with buttered breadcrumbs and sugar and flavored with cinnamon. Ripe mango instead of plums – and we have a tropical variety...

However, there are some things that require proper location, time, company..., to give us full pleasure. Sipping from freshly open coconut on a tropical beach is a touch different from sipping it in front of the fireplace somewhere in the snow covered mountains.

Or having a shot of home-made ice cold cherry brandy after a long walk in the snow will keep your juices flowing. Doing this in tropical climate will probably just make you hug the earth...

So, wisdom of the day: some things can come to us, for some things we have to move our asses.

Wisdom comes with age

Also Sprach Zarathustra...



As you are getting older and older and even older... you definitely need some consolation to compensate for your ailing overall status. Have some compassionate help from your scuba diving Highlander.

You can always find comfort in some facts describing your life:

a) you are getting too old too soon, and smart too late

b) wisdom comes with age, and too often age will visit you on her own

c) you successfully fucked up 99,99% of highlights of your life (mostly for false morality reasons)

d) you are too old to rock'n'roll and too young to die

Are you already pissed off with a kind of a “help” I'm offering to you?

Good. Very good.

Direct this negative feeling to all the constraints preventing you to live your life to the maximum extent. Annihilate all the cages, chains, obstacles. Be yourself.

And don't try to sell me the crap that you are already what you really are. Crash course workshops teachings how to love yourself, to be yourself are efficient just for reducing your funds. Crap you bring to this workshops on weekends you carry again on Mondays...

Yes, you are really a lucky person to encounter such a gentle, compassionate (I do hope you add wise automatically!) guru as me...

By luring you into being free, being what you really are I by no means do not urge you to open your Pandora box of hidden hates.

So, please don't jump out of your cave and shoot the neighbor, because you hate the way he is closing the lid on a garbage can.

No.

Open the other box, box full of beautiful feelings.

Allow yourself to approach with a smile, a nice word, somebody you find charming. Very soon you will find out you find charming persons everywhere. A tired girl working at a supermarket, a helpful librarian, a masculine fireman, a girl with sparks in her eyes and her heart…

You give them some of your (beats me why, but usually extremely well hidden) love and you will be rewarded.

You will not just forget about irritation your brain damaged boss is causing, you will find out food tastes better, the sky smells sweeter, the clouds are whispering nice things to you...

And you will somehow start receiving what you are spreading around you.

Yes, a touch different workshop than the ones you can book at your favorite esoteric “Special offers gurus”...

You don't have to work on this.

You don't have to stare into nothingness for hours and claim you are absorbed into The Navel of The Final Truth.

You are not expected to use (waste) half of your life to find yourself. Even if you haven't noticed yet, you already are.

A pearl. A piece of shit. An angel.

Depends on the time of the day and shoes you wear.

You don't have to pay the deposit, the bill or donation for this.

Summa summarum:

No work, so we can eliminate word work from workshop.

No shopping, as I am not selling you anything, so we can eliminate word shop.

Remains nothing.

And nothing can be sometimes even nicer gift than everything.

I sincerely hope, that this brilliant, inspirational, eloquent masterpiece is not in any way offending to shit selling new age gurus.

As one of my not so bright students pronounced on a good day:

“Let it be... Naked.” P. McCartney, 2003

Passion, scuba diving, love

Destination: Cloud No.9

Determine what is common to passionate love making and passionate scuba diving!

a) passion

b) sensation of flying through the moonlight at high noon

c) importance of the buddy

d) all of the above

Dear, valued disciple of mine!

If you have spend more than a second before choosing d, well, stone yourself with facebook...

Without a good dose of hot-blooded passion, well, in the best case scenario, it is more or less like smelling the roses with a gas mask on your face.

Your ordinary dulled senses are fantastically enhanced. New input is exploding inside you. You feel like a blind guy who discovers he's not really blind, just wearing a hat two sizes too big.

A buddy that becomes a part of you and you are a part of your partner. Endless, time limited yet eternal eons of pleasures absorbing both of you... And again...

A touch better idea than a partner who will comply with words: “If you really want it but didn't we do it just few days ago...?”

Maybe you would like to know am I talking about love making or scuba diving?

Hmm...

If there is still room in your e-fried brains for temptation to try this and you are attacking google for manuals like Open Water Diver Manual and Kamasutra, well, it's a long way to go...

A very long way...

These manuals are like a manual for your DVD player. Plug in, press play, press escape and so on...

But no hint in this manual why to get Akira Kurosawa “Seven Samurai” and how to immerse into the three and half hours of a different universe...

Immerse

Do you want to see what's beneath the surface?



Is it illegal or just e-socially unacceptable to deeply immerse into anything?

Immerse so deeply you forget for the time being about shopping, politics, your ex, your future, work...

 

a) not exactly, however, your controllers are definitely not pleased with you

b) ideas to immerse in a book, walk with a friend, under the water are becoming rather alien

c) total immersion can open your mind and you will be ostracized from e-reality

d) it can make you feel a human (absolute mortal e-sin)

To exorcize ideas from a to d you are welcome to immerse into a shopping spree, political discussions, talking without saying anything...

Immerse into skimming the surface.

Remember: just the surface.

Of life, feelings, thoughts, believes...

An interesting new religion.

Some renegades call it a slaughterhouse of the souls.

 

However, if you prefer less crowded places, join the limited membership club where people are not yet e-people, where people still share laughs, feelings, jokes, wisdoms, ice creams, silence...

We can really indulge in immersion.

These immersions are not limited just bellow the surface of blue waters.

Immersing in our old friends (or newly met friends), immersing in new surroundings, immersing in hellishly hot chilli sauce, immersing in tranquility, immersing in the soul of blue planet and purging all the ballast from our overloaded minds.

For such a rainbow dive trips we do not need photos for memory.

They become part of our souls.