Thursday, March 27, 2014



Follow the bubbles
To breathe the rainbow again
Or follow the fish.

Thursday, March 20, 2014

Holiday & Vacation

What is worse?

Tendency of today businesses is to torture us with increased workload and demands for efficiency. The newest and the worst trick (so far luckily only in diving industry) is to force us to survive three months of holiday (preferably in snow covered European mountains) and nine months of scuba diving vacation (in colorful fish infested tropical waters – as for instance in Bali). Year after year.
Who can endure this?

a) true workaholics powered by chili
b) people who proved they can work 26/8
c) me
d) you

When listening to most of the people I encounter either in Bali or in Europe, common sentiment seems to be: “You divers do what you love to do, and contrary to us, regular, upright citizens, you not only get your diving for free, you even get lavishly paid for enjoying dive after dive!”

Being what I am I can not stop myself asking them why the heck they have chosen gratifying job of copying and pasting numbers (or words) from left column to the right one. Day after day. A streak of masochism? They have to pay for the sins from previous life?
More or less anything we do in our lives – for pleasure, for earning survival funds – we do as a result of our decision(s).
Usually nobody is forcing us into accepting miserable lifestyle at a gunpoint.

It comes down to your calling.
Most people find something other people are willing to pay for, to be their true passion. I'm not talking just about the artists who love to create, same goes also for a mechanic who wants to understand every gadget he can lay his hands on, an economist who is able to see poetry in the balance sheet, a lawyer who discovered he can use the paragraph jungle to right some wrongs, a gardener whose reward is creation of a piece of heaven for a customer …

Serious problem can occur if your soul is craving for landscaping but you have masters in law sciences. And if society succeeds to persuade you that your face on a totem pole of achievements will drop for a few positions if you will follow your call – well, then you are doomed.
Better to remain well regarded and bitter lawyer than a great and happy landscaper.

Our choices are in most cases wide open.
We can opt to follow our dreams. Or we can opt to follow our nightmares. Or listen to family, friends, society what would be the best for us.

Thursday, March 13, 2014

Quality (of diving, food, accessories, life ...)

The Best Bicycles! Unbeatable Prices!

This is more of a linguistic exercise. In the past most languages conveyed very similar message when using the word quality.
However, when Far East Asia countries entered the global market, nobody bothered to check what they understand by “quality”.

a) shit
b) worthless shit
c) completely worthless shit
d) shit, so worthless that even permanent residents of graveyards start to cry

They use these different varieties of “quality” to improve consumption rate in these countries. If a new car survives distance of a more than 65 kilometers without falling apart, proud owner gets his two minutes on national TV.

And what has the price of rice in these countries to do with you (or me)?
Well, our brave markets jumped into this perversity as a fly into a puddle of buffalo excrement.
Today this new use of word quality is used all over the globe. Europe, USA, north, left, right, south...

This can lead to annoyance and even to serious issues.
Many patients would call it annoying, when surgically implanted pacemaker would go berserk after two months.
Even more annoyance will likely cause new European directive that minor surgeries will not be performed any more by overpriced European doctors, but by competitively priced imported butchers (for safety of the population, these butchers will have to sign a statement that they are really good).
However, this things our brain-washed and consumption-oriented society can easily swallow.
Way more serious becomes when I buy a “cheap quality” vanity mirror and it shows instead of my pretty face a stupidly looking aging wild boar...

Maybe it's time for some action.
Don't panic, I'm not starting a crusade, not a fearless ranting in my favorite pub, not even a genocide.
All I propose is just a good, old economical tool.
Boycott anything that smells, performs, acts, smells... as a piece of garbage.
Boycott global entrepreneurs that adopted zero quality syndrome.

However, quality test of dive shops (all self declared members of highly reputable scuba agencies) in Pemuteran, Bali has been cut short when Chuck Norris fainted.

Thursday, March 6, 2014

Lost in Bali

We did it!

If you would hire a driver to take you from Rome to Munich and he would start asking “How many kilometers is there to Munich? We just passed Amsterdam ...” - hilarious joke would be shared as a wildfire.
If something like this happens in Bali, it's just another day behind the wheel for a driver.
How to organize such an adventure?

a) find the cheapest driver available
b) ask him if he knows Bali
c) ask him if he knows your destination
d) ask him if he can cover the road distance of 135 km in 4 hours

As the traditional Balinese culture requires answering yes / no questions with a polite yes, you are immediately assured all will go well.
During your exploration of the Bali frontiers (which was not in your original itinerary), you will learn another thing about Balinese. They are shy. Shy to admit they have no clue what they are doing and asking somebody for assistance or correcting the mistake.

Case study:
You depart place A (a known tourist resort in Bali) at 2 p.m. On Thursday. You are looking forward to a pleasant afternoon ride among rice fields, up the mountains, down to the coast and reaching your booked destination, place B (another known tourist resort in Bali) still at daytime. Four hours for 135 kilometers, OK, slow, but what the heck, a lot of sightseeing on the way.

Just before planned arrival to place B, your driver announces, arrival will be delayed for 90 minutes. Roads are slow in Bali. Slow traffic in Bali is definitely a genuine surprise for anybody, especially a professional driver.
You think, OK, if we arrive seven thirty there is still time for a dinner and a chat, no problem.
At around eight thirty your driver just blissfully passes through the location B and as his job description is driving, not stopping, he just continues driving. At nine thirty your driver places a May Day call to place B. “We see the ferries going from Bali to Java. How far is it to your place?” When you explain “If you turn around one hour, however, if you continue ...”.
Answer from the driver: “Sorry, can not turn around, guests would notice I was wrong ...”

It's Friday, daytime, 19 hours since 135 km odyssey started. No hint where the driver is. No hint where his passengers are. They all dropped from all radar screens. Approaching Bermuda triangle?

Or a more prosaic answer is in place. The driver has been just playing a common Balinese trick, pretending to be a poor, dumb, lost soul – while frantically texting for offers from his business contacts and deciding where and for how much to sell his exhausted, properly tenderized and desperate clients?