Investment in Bali

An upscale beachfront restaurant
waitnig for an investor

After serious research (three week holiday in Bali), you decided to invest here. You need trusted experts for a feasibility study.

Which would be the best?

a) local beach bums or self proclaimed agents

b) proud, self absorbed expat owners of cockroach and rat infested resorts

c) taxi drivers

d) St. Peter

ad a)

You will learn that you, as a foreigner, are not allowed to invest in Indonesia, but, as they feel sorry for you, they will accept the burden of property for you. You will just give money and they will be the owners of whatever you want to establish.

Be careful: before you pass the money ask them at least two times if they are straight, so you are sure your business transaction is secure.

Ad b)

With expats like these you will learn even more. They hate each other guts, and join their forces only to spit on other people. If you are not aficionado of cockroaches, food poisoning etc, don't stay at their world-class resorts, just visit for a cup of shitty coffee and mention you have a couple of hundred thousand dollars to invest. Fabulous experience guaranteed.

Ad c)

One of the duties of taxi drivers in Bali is also to help investors in Bali. If you impress the guy properly, maybe he will allow you to transfer your funds to his family and start a fantastic business in Klungkung. If you later on can not a find a way to Klungkung, it's only good. It will save you additional stress.

Ad d)

St. Peter once told me this story:

“A guy died and came to my door. I checked the book for his good and bad deeds. Perfect balance. Where to send him? Heaven? Hell?

I decided to let him choose on his own.

But he was a clever guy. He asked me first for a tour in both places before deciding.

OK. Heavens with a little too much of draft, constant singing, no real action didn't really impress him.

Hell with all the dark places, mean music, whiskey, half naked table dancers he found more acceptable.

After his final decision he went to hell.

Two devils threw him into boiling oil, third started to beat him stupid...

The guy started to scream as mad: “This is the wrong place!!! Take me to the right one!!!”

Place was the same, just on his first visit he was a tourist, now he's an investor.”

If you are after this input feeling lost, insecure, put down, not sure what to do now – maybe, just maybe, you could reconsider your approach to investment.