Thursday, December 12, 2013

Soothing Sounds of Bali

You cut the cables and this thing is OK.

Idyllic island of Bali and esoteric people of Bali can make you feel in heaven also with their approach to music.
There is a subtle difference between majority of Balinese and a minority of mostly young Balinese. This minority has just a little different ideas of heaven, music, inner peace etc. Their type of heaven you would gladly accept:


a) if heaven is for you a concert of mentally handicapped blacksmiths
b) if you are medically approved as a 100% retard
c) if you can not hear an F-16 overshooting 10 meters above your head
d) if you are already seriously brain-damaged from rave parties

Sound of a piano, soft vocal, mingling with ocean waves or golden silence spiced with some whispers from the leaves dancing in an ocean breeze – all this is about same appealing to a globalized young Balinese as garlic is to Dracula. Reason is simple. All this can make you enjoy the pleasures of your life, be at one with people surrounding you, with yourself. You can start thinking, daydreaming, creating – and this is a mortal sin for idiots.

Younger generation of Balinese strives to become brain-free as much as it is humanly possible. And what is better to suppress your brain from working then to overload them with absolute noise? More boom boom boom units you put into your head, more effective. So sub-woofers are rather essential for their brain-damaging meditations.
In combination with a big enough doses of methyl alcohol (part of their local concoctions) results are amazing.
Matter of fact, lobotomy brings the same results, however, it's still too expensive.

A young guy in our village started to use a rather innovative approach. After a solid input of doomsday sounds and enough methyl alcohol, he starts collecting cow excrement, mix it with a raw egg – and after devouring this, he claims he is in heaven.
I just hope they will never hear explanation what word “stoned” means. As there are so many volcanic stones in Bali – on the other hand, seeing them when they start to hit themselves in foreheads with the stones …

Dear innocent victims of collateral damage (passers-by, tourists, neighbors), please keep on mind these poor lowlifes are just amplifying their desperate cry:


Is there anybody, anybody at all, who would like me or care about me?!”
Sorry to inform you, the answer is: “Nobody.” And I counted several times.
 

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