Thursday, December 19, 2013

A Clandestine Taliban Cell in Bali

Police officer Mr. Younoseeme file photo


Undercover law and fun enforcer, Mr. Younoseeme, tracked down vicious and seriously mentally challenged fraction of Taliban retards in Bali, in the village of Pemuteran.
What are they doing there?


a) their goal is to bomb the shit out of Christian holidays
b) as they are too stupid to figure out on what date the holidays are they bomb for days and days
c) during breaks they scratch their private parts and lick their fingers
d) firecrackers they buy from local explosive dealers Toko Suki and Toko Serbu

All of the eight tourists in Pemuteran, remaining last six Hindus and a couple of expatriates were pleading for some action against hordes of psychos.

Special law enforcement forces captured one perpetrator and exposed him to extreme interrogation. However, as their vigilance and haste didn't match their brain department capabilities, they unfortunately forgot to ask him questions and poor terrorist died without revealing any substantial information.

While still at large, the rest of not very brave, but sufficiently boneheaded warriors for louder and more stupid world decided to hire a lawyer.
Prominent Taliban lawyer Mr. Bombthemall explained his sweet, lovely, innocent group of morons is only expressing support to the Indonesian government, namely to the president Mr. Y. Bambang. When announcing bam! bang!! bam!!! bang!!! they are expressing their gratitude and loyalty to him.
Chief of police Mr. Deeppoket was torn between how to stop the illegal use of explosives on one hand and not to break the ovations to the beloved president on the other hand.
As an upstanding official he did the best for both involved parties – he collected donations from all and retired.

Lawyer representing the peace loving group, Mr. Flowerpower answered: “I love you too”, and continued with composing a fatwa.

Remaining Hindus, tourists and expats signed the fatwa on all of the noise-makers.

You want your million?
Catch a terrorist, tear his head off, piss down his throat and post a video on you tube.
Since the fatwa is out, one way tickets from Bali to Afghanistan are sold out.


P.S. If you got the feeling there is no love lost between firecrackers throwing imbeciles and me – trust your feeling.

P.P.S. If you have similar Taliban problems in December at your home, feel free to use our fatwa.

 

2 comments:

  1. Luckily we don't have such problems in Shetland islands, but I've heard that Slovenians do, so I shared to them ;)
    Fatwa must be awesome though :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Slovenian idiots started these days - between explosions you can hear lamentations about shitty economy, no money and questions where to buy more of these expensive firecrackers ... Yeah, calling them idiots is upgrading them :)

    ReplyDelete