Thursday, July 26, 2012

What is better than good diving holidays?

Vivid, lively, witty, full of fun...

Perfect diving holidays.
Would you have patience to find these ingredients for “A Perfect Diving Martini”?
And don’t even think to shake or stir it.

a) some good company
b) a decent dive base
c) scuba diving compatible ocean
d) some really good time before, during and after diving

Yeah, it's not easy to find all the right ingredients. But on the other hand, it’s not as difficult as some of the tasks you have to do at your every day work. And it's much more rewarding…

As all the elements that can change our ordinary good holidays into something special are equally important, I will address them one by one.

When deciding whom to ask to join, you should be rather positive you are on the same wavelength. During days of diving we make plans, change plans, enjoy the company, share wisdoms, crack jokes, without words exchange feelings about life – and we rely on each other down below the surface.

When looking for and choosing some decent dive center you should use all seven of your senses. If you are just vaguely aware of what sixth sense is, and about seventh sense you have not a clue; well, OK, send a booking enquiry to us and we will see what we can do.

For me scuba diving compatible usually translates into any body of water where I can immerse. However, if it falls into these categories:
water temperature between 27 – 30 C, visibility 20 – 30 meters, more than 1000 different life forms dancing around us; OK, then it is even more likely to be scuba compatible :)

If you did your job with selecting first three ingredients properly the final one will just happen. Exchanging stories, not at the campfire, but on a boat sailing to the dive site; magic of dives; reviving dives with a cup of coffee back in the dive shop…

Do you deserve all this?
Answer will be posted next Thursday…:)

Thursday, July 19, 2012

What is better than good diving?

Bali scuba diving

Some more diving.
And what makes scuba diving so good?

a)      total immersion
b)      your complete control
c)      amazing feeling of gliding through universe
d)     absolute freedom

All this. And more. And there is no contradiction in achieving absolute freedom through complete control…

This is a post for all of you who are divers at your heart.
Be it you are a beginner.
Be it you are a seasoned professional.
Be it you just dream about diving.

We do not immerse just our bodies below the surface, our minds are immersed in this soft velvet of waters.
We are aware of everything, we can feel the much more relaxed world that the one where we spend most of our days.

A brief glance at our instruments, adjustment with a touch of our fingertips – and we levitate in blue. And this blue relaxation is soaking into us.

Movement is smooth. There are not many other experiences as astonishing that nature can offer to us. Vibrant colors. Absence of colors. Serenity.

No everyday tasks, demands, decisions, confirmations… are present. Just you, your trusted buddy and pure freedom.

I do not offer courses for these incredible pleasures of diving. All I do is open the door for you. And it is up to you to enter. :)

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Would you buy a tourist in Bali?

Our taxi driver is sooo sweet...

If you are running a really lousy tourist business and tourists are running away from you maybe you are interested in buying some tourists to milk them.
For better understanding of the subject here is the paper obtained from Indonesian BTCSA
Bali Tourist Catching & Selling Association”

Guidelines for Balinese taxi drivers, room boys, waiters, beach bums…
Availability, market, distribution, prices:

a)      avoid tourists that use common sense as it is very hard or impossible to trick them
b)      when you manage to catch some trusty tourists you should know which segment of market will offer you the highest price per tourist
c)      you can sell the same tourist over and over again – to a hotel, to a dive center…
d)     as a golden rule, the worst places will pay the most for your catch

Ad a) As a lot of people nowadays are able to read and to gather some unbiased information about their holiday destinations it’s becoming rather difficult to find na├»ve, trusting souls to catch and sell. Focus on a smaller group of half literate, wide eyed, bubble heads – they tend to believe anything you say.

Ad b) Small restaurants (warungs) will happily inflate their prices to share the profit with you, give you a free meal, however, this is not some serious income. Shitty dive traps will give you a touch better value for your catch, even better you can get from some hotels, sometimes you can make a fortune at art shops. Just imagine your tourist buys an artifact valued around 20 dollars for 300 dollars – well, you are looking at some serious fee…

Ad c) To sweeten your deal, you can sell the same tourist to various businesses. After a catch you have to establish trust with your tourist and you can sell him or her over and over again.

Ad d) If you are soft hearted you are not for this business. Don’t burden yourself with ideas how to sell your tourists to some decent businesses. You can not sell your catch to a decent business. They do not need to buy tourists. You have to go to the bottom. More lousy the business more they will pay to you.

Dear, valued members of our association!
Taxi drivers, room boys, waiters, beach bums, hawkers, gardeners…
Good hunting to all of you!
Tallyho!!!

Thursday, July 5, 2012

PADI Bali




PADI Bali


















What is required in Bali for a proverbial dive trap to upgrade it into a profitable PADI dive center?

a)      you have to find somebody who can spell PADI and will paint a logo for you
b)      employ at least one PADI gardener or a PADI room boy
c)      establish a network of “tourist-hunters”
d)     you must train your staff to exclaim: “We are PADI!”  when offering a bottle of PADI arak to your victims

Important question is why to bother with these strict regulations to run a PADI dive center. Does it pay off?
As they explained at the PADI Bali Business of Diving Academy (see photo above) it definitely makes sense to go through this demanding process.

1. Every year huge numbers of tourists wanting to dive are visiting the area.
2. These tourists demand a certain level of safety for all their activities.
3. The only way to sell your half broken equipment, dubious mixture in your tanks, dive guides without any diving education is to prove to the safety conscious tourists “We are PADI!”.

Here are basic guidelines and some help for those who are still in rice selling business and would like to change into striving diving business.

Ad a) When you are looking for an artist who will paint your PADI logo, just make sure he can spell it right.
Based on our in-depth researches Pady or Paddy doesn’t work with the same efficiency as PADI when conveying the message of safety and professionalism of your diving escapades.

Ad b) As you definitely can not afford to pay a diving professional to dive with your tourists (and in any case he would refuse to use your shitty equipment), you can get really cheap PADI professional gardeners or equivalent in your area. Whatever the guy’s qualifications are never, ever forget to add PADI in the front!

Ad c) Spread out the word you are paying top price for a delivered tourist and network of “tourist-hunters” will start working for you at hotels, on the roads, in the restaurants.
Remember economic laws!
Staff at the hotels, restaurants, taxi drivers… will sell their tourist catch always to the highest bidder. Keep your finger on the pulse of the current commission trends in your area.
Don’t forget that you have already more than a dozen PADIs like this only in Pemuteran village!
These marketing techniques also make some tourists extremely happy. “What a friendly waiter! He liked me so much, he used his own phone and asked his good friend to accept me for some PADI fun diving…”

Ad d) Arak in large bottles and English (or something relatively close to this language) dramatically increases the feeling of professionalism and safety.
Key words used on the boats are:
“No stress, you are on holiday; I am very, very PADI; you no breathe, I breathe you…”

What are you waiting for?!
Drop your street sweeping job.
Get into your own PADI diving business now!

Are you worried that real PADI (Professional Association of Diving Instructors) responsible for South East Asia will go after you with fire and sword for stealing their intellectual property, misleading divers, misrepresenting, giving a really bad name to PADI, exposing PADI to lawsuits for accidents caused by PADI centers…?
No stress!
Last PADI representative who started to clear this dangerous mess has been promoted out of the country some time ago.