Skills

Divers. Expatriates. Friends.

Can you imagine how many skills each of us posses? Add to this number all the skills we are acquiring day after day. To cope with our jobs. With businesses we run. The skills needed to make our leisure time good.
Yet so frequently we are stonewalled on our paths due to the lack of certain skills.
What should we do?

a) use every moment of our time to master some more skills
b) declare ourselves as incompetents
c) lock ourselves in the room and cry in the dark corner
d) or to learn when it is time to ask for some help

Some skills of today differ significantly from skills of yesterday. How to track a deer is not so important when visiting a supermarket. The skill how of making a canoe from a log fades compared to the negotiating skill when you are renting a canoe on the lake.
However, some skills remain same essential as they used to be.
How to interact with other living creatures and with yourself – without these skills people were doomed to the hollowness of their souls. And still are. The most neglected skill, how to accept yourself for what you are and through this to accept anything you encounter for what it is, is maybe even more important than the skill of how to operate your new ENIAC hand-phone.

When it comes to understanding of density, turbulence, temperature changes, partial pressures of air and other mixtures of gases I'm OK. Lecturing on the significance of Bernoulli equation and explaining why a hundred ton airplane doesn't fall from the sky as a brick used to be my profession.
Reading a diagram is fine by me.
However, when a small, devious mechanical part develops a tiny leak under the pressure all my skills of understanding are blown out of the window. How to dismantle the little monster without destroying half of the machinery, what to service and what not, why to change this and not that – I feel like a PhD in Comparative Philosophy trying to figure out his new state of the art coffee machine.

After weighing two remaining options, to either bang my head into the brick wall until I'm enlightened or call a friend who is a master of this and similar issues I decided for later.
I know he is overburdened with his work, he hardly gets any time to rest – but he came with a smile, checked the system and found a solution in a few minutes.

The meaning of the overused, too many times abused phrase “That's what friends are for” is clear. Yet, if your best friend doesn't have a clue what kind of help you need, do not whine nobody cares about you.
Speak up.

Marry a Balinese Woman

John, do you want to be an ATM for this woman?

Reasons to marry a woman with whom you can not share irrelevant things like ideas, thoughts, jokes, beliefs etc. are: she is so cute, modest, undemanding, eternally grateful for being taken from poverty to well-being by you.
And on top of that you will marry half of Balinese population. The half that is not willing to work, but is willing to enjoy the spoils of successful marriage. You will soon discover her extended family is obviously big enough to start a new country.
Reasons why a Western guy would marry a local woman:

a) she will follow you humbly and with a radiant smile to any boutique
b) she will find 1000 ways to thank you for all the gifts
c) she will be your pride and joy, shining as her new diamond ring
d) she will milk you dry as successfully as any Western woman

One important reason could be also all the help your local wife and her family can provide when you want to do some business in Bali.
They will explain to you, that as a foreigner, you will have to pay horrible taxes, license fees, contributions and another zillion of expenses. Probably you do not want to be a foreign owner of a small business and pay outrageous 15% of your income all the time for this.

But your loving wife and her cooperative family have a solution for you.

They will be so kind and allow you to put your business in their name and expenses of running the business will drop down to amazing 2% - as they are local people and there is a different set of rules for locals. In any case your goal is not to own something in Bali, you simply wish to put some of your money into some business and have the right to work. As a decent member of your new family you will give maybe just one percent of your income to each of those 30 family members who are helping you with lowering the costs.
As they cannot afford to rent cars for their necessary office visits you will cut the expenses for renting the vehicles down to zero by buying three cars and a couple of motorbikes for them and this problem is solved.

Because of the huge savings (dramatically lowered expenses) they will also try to help you out with ideas what to do with the rest (if any) of your money.

There is always at least one member of the family who is terminally ill and desperately needs money for the doctor.
There are always some underprivileged children in the family who cannot go to school as nobody can buy them new motorbikes.
There are always extremely important ceremonies going on – the only problem is, somebody has to foot the bill.

This is the tip of the proverbial iceberg. What's below the surface would better describe Edward J. Smith - the captain of the Titanic.

P.S.
Girls, please don't laugh your heads off. Western ladies falling for a Balinese guy hit just a little bigger iceberg.

SCUBA Diving Wisdom

Great Masters after a good dive

What, usually not advertised, benefits you can expect from some good, serious diving? Is it revealing wisdom hidden deep inside of you? Is it unleashing the child in you? Is it reminding you of the memory of freedom? Do you simply fall in love with the overall sensation of diving? Or …?

a) air users: nitrogen narcosis will stone you all the way into the stone age
b) nitrox fans: oxygen will rot your brain
c) trimix hard core divers: helium will make you speak funny
d) any kind of diving: you go gaga

A nice example are these two divers on the photo. Not overly young, not overly old – average age 34 years, together they speak 8 languages (when excited at the same time) and they have more than 7000 dives under their weight belts.
OK, distribution of years, language skills etc. is not exactly even, matter of fact, not even getting close to fifty-fifty, but our goal is not to split the hairs, neither to determine how many divers can dance on one regulator – we are looking for some of the hidden benefits of diving.

For a week we were exchanging the roles of a teacher and a student. We mastered some new diving techniques, a few interesting points of view on life, philosophy and culinary ideas were exchanged – and who benefited more is hard to say.

We were using a little more vivid descriptions for certain diving related phenomena, we tackled some issues from the left field – and all the time immensely enjoyed. We enjoyed in sharing experience, knowledge, ability to think way out of the box, ability to find humor on the boat trip, below the surface, chatting on the beach …

During the workshop “Age, Diving, Chili and Life” we concluded that scuba diving can be even more entertaining than preparing for a CPA exam. It can be even more relaxing than visiting your dentist and even more pleasant than working in a coal mine. Participants of the workshop also stated that properly conducted scuba diving can be less stressful than driving certain Lebanese trucks to American embassies.

We are still searching for the answer, why despite all these conclusions people still crave for diving.

Ficko

Friends.

Coming one by one
Enjoying life here and there
Leaving one by one

Ethics in Diving Business

I used to clean windows at the authorized PADI dive resort ...

Getting a temporary job at McDonald’s, PADI or General Dynamics is not exactly the same as being the owner of the same business.
It is important how you use marketing tools when presenting yourself and your own business. It's so easy to use tricks to attract attention, however, these same tricks can bite you in your ass.
Would you trust a guy who is trying to mislead you, trick you, deceive you - to be your chosen dive operator?

a) no, as ethic principles are essential in this business
b) no, cheating in any way and diving is not a good mixture
c) no, thank you
d) no way

Therefore it's rather important also how we approach our internet marketing. By using half truths, tools that are on the border of legal (or on the other side), implying to our potential customers we or our business are something different from what we are – this is all an absolute no go.
In any business, in diving business even more, we have to trust each other fully.

On the other hand, there is even some advantage of sleazy “marketing” techniques also for customers searching for information.
If you are searching for a fine diving operator such as a PADI dive resort, and see among top results “Tauchen Plonge PADI Bali – me give you good dive...”, probably some warning bells will sound. Yes, you are right, guy is just trying to get you to his miserable dive shack and of course he has nothing to do with a real PADI dive shop.

You also have to understand why somebody would risk to be seen as a trickster. As this can be really counterproductive in long term for him. Or even in short term.
Number one reason is usually inability to establish a recognized and respected name of his own business. And a good portion of greed. And moral standards at absolute zero.
So he feels there is no other option than hijacking another recognized and respectable business name to catch some customers.

My dear, young (and not so young) diving colleagues, when trying to keep your business above the water please keep this on mind.
In whatever form you present yourself and your business, always stick to the truth. I mean the truth. Not half truth. Not omitted truth. The truth.
If it's not in your favor today (you have just started, you haven't got enough experience), so what? Replace it with your enthusiasm and experience will be there as time moves.
Recognition and respect will come. If deserved.
Never, ever use any unethical “shortcuts”, stain of sleaziness you can not wash away so easily.

And for old sinners:
Go forth and sin no more.

Nuclear Kitchen

Goodyear rating: 5 meteors

What do we get if, for instance, Mediterranean and South East Asian cuisine marry and decide to have offspring?

a) spring rolls
b) nuclear kitchen
c) a dozen of gaping rednecks staring at the dish
d) fusion cuisine

Well, spring rolls have nothing to do with your rolling activities with a willing neighbor on a spring bed.
If you have to look up in wikipedia what the hell cooking and kitchen means – yeah, then b is the answer.
If your idea of a faraway cuisine is what a guy at the far end of your village is cooking, probably the answer is c.
However, if the story is an old fashioned love story – then d is the answer.

It's rather helpful if you can figure out what is compatible and what not before you start to mix – things, people, food or ideas.
For instance, if you try to combine both a Balinese habit of attending all of the 432 full day ceremonies every year and Western rat race mania into your lifestyle the result can be frowned upon. And you can end up in a special institution.
If you allow that Asian way of life adds a moderate dose of self reflection and a slightly different point of view into the hectic Western life it can be simply refreshing.

Same goes for culinary achievements. Or disasters.
Mixing for mixing sake, to show to our peers how open minded we are, well, results are rarely worth the effort.
However, adding a whiff of hot stuff to sometimes too bland Western food can be pleasantly piquant. And if you at the same time replace the traditional Asian coconut oil with Mediterranean olive oil, this can open the gates to delicious fusion cuisine. If you substitute Western green beans with a more tasteful wild Asian cousin, add some lemon grass, a pinch of … and it can easily happen all you have to do is invent the name for a new culinary masterpiece.

In case visualization, contemplation of tastes, dreaming of the results is above your kitchen abilities – put a cup of water with a spoonful of Nescafe into your microwave oven and enjoy a true nuclear delight.

Food Safety in Bali

Left or right?

Maybe you prefer to live on the edge when exploring the world, maybe your favorite pastime is Russian roulette. However, it makes sense to get at least an idea what you will be exposed to, before switching from trusted and safe Power Bars to dangerous local food.
International research results show that any food you will eat in Bali and will not kill you is safe.

True
or
False

As a true snake eater you can take a swig of Jack Daniels, say a quick prayer, cross your fingers and pay a visit to a restaurant as the one on the right side of the photo.
Our researchers asked some prominent Balinese chefs to describe these dishes. Needless to say, locals are going after these specialties as Dracula after garlic bread.

Guacamole: is the famous Dutch dish, namely fried scrapings from garbage bins – must be good for tourists.
Pepes: medieval Canadian dish based on the famous Canadian banana leaves – must be good for tourists.
Wiener: named after a French province, meat left-overs with sugar coated boiled onion – must be good for tourists.
Gordon Blue: Australian specialty for all the overhang, sad and blue travelers – must be good for tourists.

And now take a look on a wild side (left).

Nasi goreng: fried rice, vegetables, chili, chicken (in traces).
Nasi campur: plain rice with assorted spices, vegetables, egg, fish, shredded coconut.
Gado gado: rice cooked in banana leaves with peanut sauce.
Rujak: slices of pineapple, cucumber, banana etc served with a thick sauce made from palm sugar, pinch of salt and chili.

In a nutshell, enjoying exotic Balinese cuisine in Bali and exotic homemade Western dishes while vacationing in Europe sounds as a good recipe for me.