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Superhuman patience and efficiency
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As a next scuba addict, I'm also deeply and passionately in love
with all the red tape imposed on dive business. Paperwork fulfills my
secret dreams. Sometimes it almost make me come. Come to the verge of
absolute violence – not something else (you and your dirty mind!).
Possible ways to get through required red tape without
decapitating some government employed morons:
a) your organize all important paperwork in a huge, neat pile – and use your Zippo
b) for urgent e-notices you use delete button, paper varieties you sell for recycling
c) you sell all this shit on e-bay
d) you go diving and let somebody more capable to deal with this mess (Mazi the Cat and Jana the Patient)
My heart and soul is for a, b and c. And definitely for a good battle ax. For humanitarian reasons I allow my betters to deal with this – and I stick to scuba diving.
Maybe you are wondering why I start to think about the proper use of battle ax when government experts start questioning me about diving business related issues?
It's rather normal in order to decide to renew or not a business “license to operate”, that government institutions and ministries have to gather essential information about the dive business. And we have to provide it.
Yes, I agree.
However, when browsing through reports they demand, trying to find something even remotely related to scuba diving, well, it seems connections are so esoteric I can not grasp the meaning.
1. What kind of lunch you will offer to our expert team evaluating your business?
2. Business must be conducted in long trousers and long sleeves shirts with collar. How come you and your staff are in shorts and T-shirts, and some even in some rubber dress?
3. At our last visit you provided number for your telephone and email. Our staff could not reach you neither on phone number 012345678, nor your email number 1234@get-out-of-my-hair.com – are you solving the problem with Telkom Indonesia?
4. As a foreigner you probably do not understand situation in Bali very well. It's rather hot here. How do you plan to compensate us for this?
And so on to 194.
Maybe now it's more clear why I let solving the certain type of paperwork to Mazi the Cat and Jana the Patient. Our Indonesian licenses are in proper order, some chickens are sacrificed to prove our business is really a business, and I hum the verse from an old song “Jokers on my left, and clowns on my right ...”
a) your organize all important paperwork in a huge, neat pile – and use your Zippo
b) for urgent e-notices you use delete button, paper varieties you sell for recycling
c) you sell all this shit on e-bay
d) you go diving and let somebody more capable to deal with this mess (Mazi the Cat and Jana the Patient)
My heart and soul is for a, b and c. And definitely for a good battle ax. For humanitarian reasons I allow my betters to deal with this – and I stick to scuba diving.
Maybe you are wondering why I start to think about the proper use of battle ax when government experts start questioning me about diving business related issues?
It's rather normal in order to decide to renew or not a business “license to operate”, that government institutions and ministries have to gather essential information about the dive business. And we have to provide it.
Yes, I agree.
However, when browsing through reports they demand, trying to find something even remotely related to scuba diving, well, it seems connections are so esoteric I can not grasp the meaning.
1. What kind of lunch you will offer to our expert team evaluating your business?
2. Business must be conducted in long trousers and long sleeves shirts with collar. How come you and your staff are in shorts and T-shirts, and some even in some rubber dress?
3. At our last visit you provided number for your telephone and email. Our staff could not reach you neither on phone number 012345678, nor your email number 1234@get-out-of-my-hair.com – are you solving the problem with Telkom Indonesia?
4. As a foreigner you probably do not understand situation in Bali very well. It's rather hot here. How do you plan to compensate us for this?
And so on to 194.
Maybe now it's more clear why I let solving the certain type of paperwork to Mazi the Cat and Jana the Patient. Our Indonesian licenses are in proper order, some chickens are sacrificed to prove our business is really a business, and I hum the verse from an old song “Jokers on my left, and clowns on my right ...”
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