 |
A
typical manifestation of an après
fun
diving syndrome.
From “SCUBA Diving Anomalies”, Volume 3, Chapter XXII ~ Dusan Repic et al. |
This
post is for true brave-hearts only. All examples are just
descriptions of events during this summer. Upon consideration I
omitted a couple of the worst cases. Before reading the post check
our guidelines for your safe reading!
a) consult your physician if your blood pressure and heart are adequate for ultimate terror
b) ask somebody to administer CPR in case you drop down when reading
c) if you start to uncontrollably shake or start to convulse stop reading immediately
d) if the world is becoming darker and darker, you are just fainting
All set? Good. We can immerse into activity sometimes described as “Diving is fun!”
Very true, especially in South East Asia, namely in North Bali.
How this usually starts?
Not very experienced fun divers, meaning not certified divers, run from one dive kiosk to another and compare the prices. When they find the cheapest offer, as adult, intelligent, safety conscious travelers they want to establish credibility and safety of the chosen outfit and their dive leader.
They very seriously ask the guy: “Are you PADI? A professional? Very safe?”, and as he very seriously answers: “Yes, I am very PADI, very professional, and very safe!”, fun starts.
For experience programs , such as scuba funny diving for not yet trained divers, they put on a boat between 4 to 12 tourists, take them to a blue water dive spot, get them in full scuba gear, blissfully without any instructions how to use it and what scuba diving is about, and unceremoniously drop them in the water.
Their very professional leader (yes, one is enough for the group) already knows where to put his regulator – which definitely makes him a dive professional.
Now the scene turns into full action thriller.
Every meter deeper the fun and adrenaline searchers descend more, more frantic their struggle is. Pain in the ears is becoming unbearable. Water in the nose, salty and bitter taste in the mouth (from sea water and extreme fear), no chance to breathe, slowly suffocating under the surface - a horrible way to go. No way to see the sun again. They would exchange their loved ones for one deep breath of plain, good fresh air. No help for abandoned souls. Legs and arms are flailing wildly. Eyes bulging. When they struggle to the surface and see any boat close enough to grab it for some support, real fun starts.
They try to climb aboard in full scuba gear with their fins still on. And fall back in water. And repeat. And repeat. When their faces are out of the water you can hear moans and pleas “Get me out of the water...”.
When boat drivers, helpers and snorkelers drag them on the boat, is usually the time when their benevolent instructor (AKA snorkel master, AKA full-time idiot) appears and proclaims: “Yeah, that was funny ...”.
Sponsors of extreme tourism on a shoestring in Bali are not available for comment. They are in the bathroom – washing their hands …
a) consult your physician if your blood pressure and heart are adequate for ultimate terror
b) ask somebody to administer CPR in case you drop down when reading
c) if you start to uncontrollably shake or start to convulse stop reading immediately
d) if the world is becoming darker and darker, you are just fainting
All set? Good. We can immerse into activity sometimes described as “Diving is fun!”
Very true, especially in South East Asia, namely in North Bali.
How this usually starts?
Not very experienced fun divers, meaning not certified divers, run from one dive kiosk to another and compare the prices. When they find the cheapest offer, as adult, intelligent, safety conscious travelers they want to establish credibility and safety of the chosen outfit and their dive leader.
They very seriously ask the guy: “Are you PADI? A professional? Very safe?”, and as he very seriously answers: “Yes, I am very PADI, very professional, and very safe!”, fun starts.
For experience programs , such as scuba funny diving for not yet trained divers, they put on a boat between 4 to 12 tourists, take them to a blue water dive spot, get them in full scuba gear, blissfully without any instructions how to use it and what scuba diving is about, and unceremoniously drop them in the water.
Their very professional leader (yes, one is enough for the group) already knows where to put his regulator – which definitely makes him a dive professional.
Now the scene turns into full action thriller.
Every meter deeper the fun and adrenaline searchers descend more, more frantic their struggle is. Pain in the ears is becoming unbearable. Water in the nose, salty and bitter taste in the mouth (from sea water and extreme fear), no chance to breathe, slowly suffocating under the surface - a horrible way to go. No way to see the sun again. They would exchange their loved ones for one deep breath of plain, good fresh air. No help for abandoned souls. Legs and arms are flailing wildly. Eyes bulging. When they struggle to the surface and see any boat close enough to grab it for some support, real fun starts.
They try to climb aboard in full scuba gear with their fins still on. And fall back in water. And repeat. And repeat. When their faces are out of the water you can hear moans and pleas “Get me out of the water...”.
When boat drivers, helpers and snorkelers drag them on the boat, is usually the time when their benevolent instructor (AKA snorkel master, AKA full-time idiot) appears and proclaims: “Yeah, that was funny ...”.
Sponsors of extreme tourism on a shoestring in Bali are not available for comment. They are in the bathroom – washing their hands …
It would be great if one could find a list of certifyed and credible PADI centers and a list of dive shops to avoid, with their "best of" perhaps. Any ideas where and how to search for one?
ReplyDeleteJaka, as Fox Mulder said "The truth is out there...". Real PADI dive resorts are listed on PADI web pages. PADI main page, click Dive Shop Locator, enter location and this is it.
DeleteAll the brick and mortar PADI dive resorts not listed on the PADI pages (Balinese, Javanese, French) are fakes - just that - fakes. Despite all the PADI signage covering these dive kiosks. I think most of them wouldn't be approved even by Monty Python Scuba Association.
Quality and safety:
This is of course subjective opinion, but fakes I wouldn't recommend. At least not for scuba diving.
Real PADI dive resorts also in Pemuteran of course differ, but in all cases seriously exceed quality of fake PADI dive kiosks.
The worst PADI fake dive centers in Pemuteran?
Competition is tremendous. Really impossible to determine the winner. This one from the post above was leading for a week.
Be good and see you soon!
Hahahaha, Monty Python Scuba Association ... Thx for a good dose of laughing :)
DeleteDo you know on October 11 one Pemurteran PADI dive center brought back dead diver?
ReplyDeleteWhat will you say about this?
Your advice how to check PADI or not PADI is stupid! Where will you find idiot to stare at sign Starbucks, Pizza Hut, Mac Donalds and check on internet if it is fake or real?! Sign is there to tell you what it is!
Dear Anonymous,
DeleteThree questions of yours and three answers of mine:
1. Yes, I know.
2. “Very cheap, very deep – very unsafe” diving philosophy is taking over in fake PADI dive kiosks in Pemuteran. Another customer tricked by logo PADI and hope to enjoy some safe diving. I would just repeat be very, very careful when selecting the dive operator. Not much of an advice ...
3. In this perspective, checking the brand name online before entering, this sounds stupid also to me. But it's the only remaining difference for customers. If you can call it a difference. And I agree, when people see the sign, that's it.