PADI Bali




PADI Bali



What is required in Bali for a proverbial dive trap to upgrade it into a profitable PADI dive center?

a)      you have to find somebody who can spell PADI and will paint a logo for you

b)      employ at least one PADI gardener or a PADI room boy

c)      establish a network of “tourist-hunters”

d)     you must train your staff to exclaim: “We are PADI!”  when offering a bottle of PADI arak to your victims

Important question is why to bother with these strict regulations to run a PADI dive center. Does it pay off?

As they explained at the PADI Bali Business of Diving Academy (see photo above) it definitely makes sense to go through this demanding process.

1. Every year huge numbers of tourists wanting to dive are visiting the area.

2. These tourists demand a certain level of safety for all their activities.

3. The only way to sell your half broken equipment, dubious mixture in your tanks, dive guides without any diving education is to prove to the safety conscious tourists “We are PADI!”.

Here are basic guidelines and some help for those who are still in rice selling business and would like to change into striving diving business.

Ad a) When you are looking for an artist who will paint your PADI logo, just make sure he can spell it right.

Based on our in-depth researches Pady or Paddy doesn’t work with the same efficiency as PADI when conveying the message of safety and professionalism of your diving escapades.

Ad b) As you definitely can not afford to pay a diving professional to dive with your tourists (and in any case he would refuse to use your shitty equipment), you can get really cheap PADI professional gardeners or equivalent in your area. Whatever the guy’s qualifications are never, ever forget to add PADI in the front!

Ad c) Spread out the word you are paying top price for a delivered tourist and network of “tourist-hunters” will start working for you at hotels, on the roads, in the restaurants.

Remember economic laws!

Staff at the hotels, restaurants, taxi drivers… will sell their tourist catch always to the highest bidder. Keep your finger on the pulse of the current commission trends in your area.

Don’t forget that you have already more than a dozen PADIs like this only in Pemuteran village!

These marketing techniques also make some tourists extremely happy. “What a friendly waiter! He liked me so much, he used his own phone and asked his good friend to accept me for some PADI fun diving…”

Ad d) Arak in large bottles and English (or something relatively close to this language) dramatically increases the feeling of professionalism and safety.

Key words used on the boats are:

“No stress, you are on holiday; I am very, very PADI; you no breathe, I breathe you…”

What are you waiting for?!

Drop your street sweeping job.

Get into your own PADI diving business now!

Are you worried that real PADI (Professional Association of Diving Instructors) responsible for South East Asia will go after you with fire and sword for stealing their intellectual property, misleading divers, misrepresenting, giving a really bad name to PADI, exposing PADI to lawsuits for accidents caused by PADI centers…?

No stress!

Last PADI representative who started to clear this dangerous mess has been promoted out of the country some time ago.